Curiosity killed the cat. Did it though?

When we work with people within our organisations, sometimes we forget they are also humans, with squishy insides and their own insecurities, fears and concerns.

We see their role, not the person.

It's easy to get defensive if you feel their point of view is questioning your own... but we have an antidote for you...

STAY CURIOUS!

This is the third principle of how to have better difficult conversations—Exploration over Defensiveness.

Every conversation you have will most likely be with another human being. Mostly. Even the most accomplished, senior person can feel unsure, vulnerable, inadequate and alone.

We all have struggles and we all have insecurities. Remain curious within the conversation, even when it gets hard.

Explore what is driving the other person to take the position they are taking in the conversation. In another words, get curious about it rather than judging it.

Connect with their experience and gain insight into their position before trying to establish yours. This gives you important context.

Incorporate their language and use their words. This helps build connection.

By remaining curious, you're able to create a bit of distance between your natural defensive reaction and the outcome the conversation is trying to serve.

And it's much more fun!

You've got this.

Love,

PS. Next week we'll explore the fourth principle of how to have better difficult conversations: Heart first, then Head (do the hokey pokey and you turn around...). 🎵🪇

If you like this, please share it.

If you believe in our work and think we can support people in your network, please forward this newsletter on.

PO Box 455
Ashburton, 3147
Unsubscribe · Preferences

Read more from This Human by Melis Senova

🫀 In an AI world, it's the leaders who feel that have the edge

"A conscious leader is not one who knows more. It’s one who feels more." In this week’s article, Leadership in the Age of AI, we’re reminded that true leadership doesn’t begin with logic, it begins with feeling. Inspired by Mark Solms’ The Hidden Spring, the article invites us to return to our bodies, where consciousness lives in emotion, not just analysis. As AI grows ever faster and seemingly wiser, it’s tempting to equate intelligence with insight. But Solms shows us that wisdom isn’t...

about 11 hours ago • 2 min read

🫡 Respect isn't a rule, it's a relationship

"There’s no checklist for respect. But we know what it feels like. And we know when it’s gone." When leaders talk about what they expect from their team, “respect” is almost always at the top of the list. But what does it actually mean? And where does it really come from? In this week’s article, we explore the idea that respect isn’t something you can demand, and it’s not always something you can earn. It’s something that emerges. Like trust. Like culture. Like all the things that live in the...

14 days ago • 1 min read

🔨 The hard truth about soft skills 🧁

"These skills are not the icing on the cake. They are the cake." We call them soft skills, but they’re anything but soft. These are the human skills; the ones that help us listen deeply, navigate tension, build trust, and get things done with style and grace. In this week’s article, we explore why it’s time to stop treating these skills as optional. In a world of AI, rapid change, and rising complexity, human skills are what truly set us apart. Empathy, communication, adaptability; these...

28 days ago • 1 min read