This is the first principle of having - better -
difficult conversations.

Humans make assumptions; it's a short cut to meaning making. And, they will inevitably pop up in difficult conversations, but...

You can choose to make them work for you rather than against you.

Start by assuming there’s information you don’t have yet or perspectives you haven’t considered. This shift keeps conversations open and productive, rather than defensive or confrontational. ✅

For instance, if a team member misses a deadline, you could assume they’re overwhelmed or facing challenges rather than being careless. By asking, “Is there anything getting in your way that I can help with?” you create space for a supportive, solutions-focused dialogue. ✅

In contrast, assuming someone is deliberately obstructive can quickly derail a conversation. Imagine a designer whose manager interrupts their process with critical feedback. Instead of assuming the manager doesn’t value their work, the designer could ask, “What concerns do you have about this approach?” This transforms a potentially tense exchange into an opportunity to gain insights and improve the project. ✅

Leaders, in particular, can benefit from approaching conflicts with the assumption that there’s always more to learn. In the world of design, where depth and creativity need to be nurtured, assuming that each team member brings valuable insights fosters collaboration and innovation. ✅

Instead of pushing to be “right,” leaders can ask, “What factors influenced your thinking?” to open up a more constructive discussion. ✅

By using assumptions to explore rather than judge, you not only defuse tension but also encourage trust and problem-solving, making difficult conversations far more effective.

We're now going to assume that...you've got this. 😉

Love,

PS. Next week we'll explore the second principle of how to have better difficult conversations: Solidarity over self-righteousness.

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