"The thing people are protecting is the very thing that most needs to be seen, met, and cared for."

We often interpret guardedness as disinterest or ego. But beneath the surface, it’s usually something else: fear. A quiet, embodied strategy that says “don’t let too much in.”

In this week’s article, we explore what happens when we start to see guardedness not as a fixed part of our character, but as a creative adjustment, a once-useful protection that may now be keeping connection at bay. And how, in the right conditions, that protection can soften.

Because what we protect in ourselves is often the very thing that most needs to be met.

And dropping the armour doesn’t start with telling people to open up; it starts with creating the kind of space(s) where they want to, and naturally can.

Latest article

✍️ What's behind the guardedness?

Latest Podcast

🎙️ Episode 10 of the Smoosh Podcast
Title: Funny funny ha ha

What's happening with Melis

Reading:
Currently most of my reading is allocated reading for the EcoPsychology course with Nature Calling. They are excerpts from texts, academic papers on topics like Animism and Indigenous Astronomy. Fair to say, I'm hooked. 🪝

Listening to:
I'm listening to The Dream of the Earth by Thomas Berry, (<- link to ethical book seller) read by the author. It has an oldy-worldy quality to it, although released as an audio book this year, the original publication was released in 1988(!). It is a recap of the history of ideas that created the narrative of progress that we have outgrown. Not in terms of our psyche, but in terms of Earth's ability to keep 'serving' the story. It's not an easy listen, but an essential one to any who want to know how to respond to our current trajectory and shift from 'plundering' to 'flourishing'. 🌎

Doing:
Preparing for the big move and transition to Mistwood, our farm in West Gippsland, Victoria. I'm slowly reconfiguring my life to be a little more gentle on Earth's resources. It's a steep learning curve... or remembering curve (?). 🌲

Pondering:
I'm up to 813 crochet squares and now I'm pondering how on earth I'm going to stitch them together to create a wall sculpture. Calling out to all the crafty people on our newsletter list, please reach out to me in this human community if you have some ideas! If you're not a member, join us, it's free! 🧶

What's happening with Ben

Reading:
Gestalt therapy articles about death, grief and loss. These deep experiences connect us all. No one gets out alive. Humbling stuff. 🪦

Listening to:
In an Unspoken Voice by Peter Levine. An audio book about the wisdom of the body as the primary vehicle of releasing and healing the grip of trauma. 🫀

Doing:
Heading to Brisbane for a gestalt therapy immersive weekend. Guess the topic! Death, grief and loss. It's gonna be real. Just the way I like it. 😪

Pondering:
Guardedness, hence this week's article. I've observed a few recent experiences where someone's palpable self-protection strategies were harming them more than helping them. It got me right in the feels. 💚

What would it mean to take off a little piece of armour this week?

You've got this.

Love,